Kaleidoscope
by NaugrimMellon
Summary: Uhura and Jim have a moment at the annual Christmas party


Uhura sipped her Romulan Ale and simply watched the scene around her; Chekov was dancing with a girl, Sulu and Scotty were chatting at a table, and the room was full of the dull chatter of many voices speaking at once. It was a peaceful sort of busy, she thought. Earlier she had been singing and performing herself; old Christmas carols mostly, and a few others she had come up with herself. Maybe it was the Romulan Ale getting to her, but the scene of all her friends and co-workers happy together was making her almost misty-eyed. And as these things often do, it began to make her feel less a part of it all. She suddenly felt out of place, just watching everyone enjoying the party from another plane of existence. It was definitely the Romulan Ale.

She set down her glass, though she wasn't finished yet, and stepped out into the hall. The air was cooler there, and the noise was quieter. A familiar figure was standing further down the hallway, gazing out at the stars. He looked thoughtful, or maybe sad… or maybe just dreaming. She wasn't sure.

"What are _you_ doing out here, captain?" she asked, approaching him with a slight teasing smile on her face. He turned to glance at her, clearly startled out of a deep thought or a daydream, and then turned back to the stars.

"Just getting some air," he said, still not making eye contact with her. She stepped closer and looked out at the stars too, knowing there was nothing more to see than the twinkling lights. Maybe she thought looking out at the stars would somehow tell her what he was thinking. Sometimes he seemed so lonely. Maybe they were all lonely, so far from home. Or maybe it was just the Romulan Ale.

"You don't like the party?" she asked, turning to look at him inquisitively.

"I'm having a great time!" he said convincingly, looking at her with those sparkling eyes. "And might I remind you, you're out here too. Don't _you_ like the party, Lieutenant?"

"Of course I like the party!" she said. They appeared to be at an impasse, so they both went back to gazing out at the stars.

It was nice to be out in the cool hallway. The lights were dim and she could hear the music faintly playing in the other room. Looking out at the stars with Jim felt magical somehow; the sort of Christmas magic she hadn't felt since Christmas Eve when she was a child.

Uhura opened her mouth to say something, and Jim apparently had the same idea, so they both began speaking at once.

"I'm sorry, go ahead," she told him.

"No, you go first," he insisted.

"Mine wasn't really that important," she said.

"Mine wasn't either, so you go ahead," he insisted again.

She paused before speaking again.

"Now I forgot what I was gonna say."

They both laughed.

Had his eyes always been so pretty? She wondered this as she gazed into them, mesmerized. Sparkling brown… no, hazel? She wasn't sure what to call them. He was looking back at her in a way that made her wonder if he could be thinking the same about her eyes. Maybe she assumed too much. She blamed the Romulan Ale.

Everything was painted in the deep pink and violet of the dim lights… maybe it just _seemed_ romantic. Maybe it was just the Romulan Ale. Maybe it was just the dimness of the lights, or the faintness of the music coming from the other room. Maybe it was just the loneliness of being far from home. It was probably just the Ale, she thought. And the lights. And the music. And his sparkling eyes.

"White Christmas" was playing now in the other room, so faintly she could barely make out the words. She was beginning to feel almost misty-eyed again, and she wasn't sure why. She was still looking at Jim, and he was still looking at her. For a moment, just a moment, she wondered… what if? But she stopped the thought right there. Then he turned from her and looked back at the stars. She wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed. Maybe she wanted him to turn on that charm he so often used on women. No, it was definitely the Romulan Ale talking. But sometimes she just wondered what it would be like.

It was just a dream; just a pointless, silly daydream. She told herself that she shouldn't even want it. But as they stood there together, alone in the quiet hallway, she couldn't help but wonder, again… what if? a few words came to mind: not meant to be, not "in the stars" so to speak.

"But we are in the stars" she said aloud softly, accidentally, as she gazed out at the twinkling lights in the surrounding dark.

"Hm?" he turned to look at her again, but this time she was the one still watching the stars. She could feel him still looking at her, but she couldn't look back at him. She was sure it was the Romulan Ale, but she had the crazy idea that she might… no, she couldn't even think it.

"You know," he began, and this time she did turn to look at him, "we're surrounded by stars, but you're, by far, the most beautiful."

And there it was. The charm she'd so foolishly wanted to experience.

"Your name does mean star, doesn't it? Nyota?"

Uhura suddenly burst into laughter. She wasn't sure if it was because she was nervous or if it was just the shock of it, or if it was just that Romulan Ale.

"Jim Kirk, you probably say that to all the girls!" she said, softly nudging him in the shoulder.

"Only the ones named Nyota. Which, so far, has been…. let's see," he counted on his fingers, "ah, just the one."

"You're flirting with me!" she exclaimed, certain that the heat in her face was from the Ale.

"You flirted with me first," he said, eyes sparkling again.

"When did I flirt with you?" she asked, still smiling.

"Not with your words, you said it with your eyes."

Uhura's smile faded slowly. He was right, she couldn't exactly deny it.

"How much can you tell by looking into a woman's eyes?" she asked him, her voice softer now but still playful.

"Only as much as she wants me to know," he replied, looking at her in a way he never had before. She'd seen him look at other women that way, but never her. She wondered if she was looking at him the same way now too. They both leaned in a little closer now; not touching, but closer than they'd been before. She again found herself lost in those sparkling eyes.

Everything felt surreal somehow, as if this moment were separate from the rest. Floating on its own in a different timeline, something unreachable that she had somehow fallen into. Maybe a transporter malfunction, like the mirror universe… but this one was different, it wasn't a simple reverse of the norm. It wasn't a mirror, it was more like looking through a stained-glass kaleidoscope of what _could_ be. The rest of the world had faded away and it was just the two of them there, in the hallway. Just the two of them and the stars.

It was in this moment that she realized that they _could_ … She hardly allowed herself to think it, but she knew it was possible. _But we're not going to._

They both began to lean closer, when the loud swish of the door opening startled them out of it. Uhura wasn't sure if she was relieved or irritated with the interruption. Scotty stumbled out into the hall, holding an empty bottle of whiskey.

"I'm goin' to bed, sir," he told Jim.

"Permission granted, Mr. Scott," Jim replied, and Scotty saluted him awkwardly before stumbling away down the hall. Uhura and Jim both broke into laughter.

"What do you say we get back to the party?" Jim suggested then, and Uhura agreed. Before they had made it quite back to the door, Uhura paused.

"Jim," she said, beginning to laugh, "We're never gonna talk about this again, are we?"

"Talk about what?" he said, winking at her.

She was still laughing as the door slid open and they stepped inside to the sudden deafening roar of the party.


End file.
